Clearing the Path

The other day a dear friend growled at me when he got frustrated with a current work situation. And in an instant I was thrown back to college when this was my trademark frustration indicator.  He knew it well. We had the most positive and volatile relationship possible, which seems like it would be a disaster, but it was pure bliss. Much like the relationships you had when you were 12 (Stand By Me reference fully intended), this was quite possibly the most important relationship in my life at that time.
When you get to college they tell you that the people you meet will be your lifelong friends, and that is true, but the perfect storm of emotional circumstances made this friendship even more monumental.  The loss of a mother, followed by the abandonment of a father, and the subsequent realization that you are 21, in college, and suddenly the adult to 3 younger siblings.  It all happened so swiftly, and this friend saw it coming, tried to shield me from what he could, and jumped in to pick up the pieces at the same time.
From that point forward, nothing could break this friendship. I was on the precipice of the end of my world as I knew it, he helped me navigate it all. And he never faltered. Never.
The compounded emotions from that time have probably never really surfaced sufficiently, survival mode requires all energy, especially when you are trying to survive for a party of 4. My god, it got ugly.  Family discontent at its height. Betrayal, abandonment,  loss, grief, fear, hunger, poverty, theft, all wrapped up into a few short years. Just writing that makes my chest tight. But we lived it. We survived. We survived, intact, relatively healthy, productive, self-sufficient adults, all of us. Gratitude at its most solemn and holy.
I don't know how.
Here is what I do know. That kind of friendship never leaves you. Through boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, children. It never does. This relationship also happens to be commemorated with a tattoo.  It is the most endearing touchstone of my life, truly.  At my darkest moments, that anchors me, it draws me back, it reassures me that kind of love exists. It is one of the few completely unconditional relationships I have ever had with a non-family member.
I have been fortunate enough to return home, both geographically, and emotionally to continue this friendship and watch it stretch into a trusted working relationship. What a blessing. I stand firmly on this ground now because of that relationship.  For a girl who doesn't trust much or many, that is a strong victory.  There is no fear that can't be confronted, no topic off limits, no criticism without love.
Happily, I can count 2 friends like this, the one that I had at 12 years old who sneaked into Stand by Me daily at the local dollar movie theater, and this one I thankfully stumbled into at the fresh age of 21. Glory be all the blessings it has brought forth.  And so it is...